Golf-Ex Gel; The Anti-Golfing Compound

Advertisement From those folks at Odd Fish comes yet another mind-blowing product you never knew existed. Yes people, It might be hard to believe, but Odd Fish Enterprises has produced an effective deterrent to the golfing bug. Ladies, ask yourself these questions;  Does your man fill his weekend with golf dates instead of more logical…

Transgender Expresses Animosity Towards Urinal 

A transgender person who identifies as a male has filed a petition for the removal of all urinals and toilet seats from public restrooms.  Winona Hutchings, who hails as Wayne, has found the male designated restrooms of the world less than accommodating. “This is not what I expected,” said Wayne. “Those things [urinals] just hang there on…

Area Man Suspects He Is Growing A Second Penis

Goggle Eyed News Brief  After a fun-filled weekend of alcohol induced promiscuity, Benton Housewood awoke early monday morning to discover a nubby growth on his groin area. Sources report hearing odd sounds emanating from Mr. Housewood’s suburban home during the wee hours of the two-day sex romp. “I’m no farmer, but I know a barnyard sound…

Neanderthal DNA Discovered In Slice Of Pepperoni 

A fascinating new twist in one scientist’s quirky approach to identify the specific origins of mankind has revealed a possible clue in the most unlikely of places. “I don’t know what made me want to test a slice of pepperoni for traces of Neanderthal DNA. I guess it was just a hunch,” said Bert Longlass, geneticist for…

 Local Driver Learns How To Merge

 Brownwood, Tx.–The Austin Avenue overpass, the third in the city’s history and the second to feature an on-ramp has recently been declared the site of the latest milestone erected in the annals of Brownwood’s gas-powered traffic period. Trumping the horse and buggy as the primary mode of local transportation as early as the 1970’s, the automobile…