Drunken Uncle Demands Recount Of Dinner Rolls Hours After Thanksgiving Meal

Wisconsin– At least four hours after a thanksgiving feast, one secretly agitated family member, who sat stewing unnoticed in a sub-standard, plastic lawn chair and keeping to himself until achieving an adequate BAC, suddenly voiced an opinion regarding the fairness of portions. “This shit ain’t right!” Blurted out a clearly disturbed uncle Billy. Uncle Billy, who had…

Man Falls Victim to Acute Attack of Comfort

  Brownwood, Texas— For many shoppers, Black Friday means struggling through a 2:00 am food hangover to become the latest Wal-Mart version of Rhonda Rousey on their way to YouTube stardom. For Harry Dozer, however, the busiest shopping day of the year held something much different in store. With a puzzled, but contented look on…

Fugitive Alert

Brownwood residents are warned to be on the look out for an escaped criminal from the Brown County jail. The inmate was first noticed to be missing during the early morning hours of October 31, Halloween day. According to officials at the jail, it is because of this particular holiday that the escape was made…