Wow! You Need This! 

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Look at it. Just look all the shiny buttons, and chefy sounding setting descriptions. No boring low, medium and high on this high quality machine. You can’t move forward without this. You thought the pitchman with the british accent made it look great on tv , but…zowie! 

They led you to believe it wasn’t available in stores, yet here it is. Now that you’re able to fondle it’s dials and knobs, and gently caress its smooth curves in person, you just can’t live even one more day without it. 

Somewhere, beneath your kitchen counter top, there is an obscure corner just waiting for this impressive new device. It’s deep, way deep, back there where you can hardly reach even if you get down on your knees, turn your head and mash  your cheek hard against the cabinet while reaching as far as you can into the hidden depths of your storage space. Back there where the dog food tid-bits have mysteriously teleported themselves. That’s the only reasonable explanation because you don’t have mice. Only hoarders have mice.

You may need to get clever, and place a few things inside a few other things to create enough usable space–just enough so the cabinet doors will barely close–but it’s doable. And the best part is, you won’t need to toss out any of the other many incredibly useful devices that seldom see the light of day. Your life will once again be complete.

One day, you can happen upon this awesome culinary accessory while in search of something that you actually use and remark to your husband just what a wonderful gadget it really is. “Oh look, honey. Remember this? We should use it some time. I paid a lot of money for it.” 

“You sure did, babe. It still looks great, but it’s so hard to clean. Is that dog food?”

And then you can proudly place it back into the cramped area deep within the kitchen cabinets, and forget about it once again.

By now, you’ve rationalized yourself into a corner, desperately trying to justify this purchase, and your going to come out charging. Yes, this incredible, forgettable, impossible to clean kitchen appliance–that will be yours after only four, or possibly as many as six easy payments of just $49.95 with approved credit–is going home with you today where you can start forgetting it just as soon as that last payment gets charged to you credit card.

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If you enjoyed this post don’t forget to like the Goggle’s Facebook page, or click the follow button. Thanks for reading the Goggle Eyed Gazette.


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