Goggle Eyed news Brief–
Followed by an unencumbered, wife-less, shop free dash into the Dollar Tree, Fred Durmond returned outside to find an empty parking space where there should have been a Buick. Anxiously surveying the area for the missing auto and coming up short, he concluded the family sedan had fallen victim to unauthorized use.
During previous outings, fortified with his better half, Fred received firm encouragement to press the lock button on the key fob twice–honk! honk!–to insure the Buick remained secure. Fred, alone this trip, admitted to honking only once before darting into the Dollar Tree. “I used to double honk, but I just couldn’t help myself. That single honk was always right there…tempting me. I mean, I’t can’t get anymore locked than..locked. Can it? Seemed like excess wear and tear on the horn, if you ask me.”
Reportedly, Fred endured a stiff berating from his wife for his honk deficit. Thelma Durmond arrived post-haste following an alert from her friend, Martha, whose cell-phone communication skills are second to none. “I knew he was just asking for trouble when I heard only one honk,” said Martha. “You can’t protect an automobile with just one, dang honk. Who does that?”
Fred promised to never again utilize less than a double honk, and agreed to attend a support group meeting for backsliding one-honkers.