Goggle Eyed News Brief
After a fun-filled weekend of alcohol induced promiscuity, Benton Housewood awoke early monday morning to discover a nubby growth on his groin area.
Sources report hearing odd sounds emanating from Mr. Housewood’s suburban home during the wee hours of the two-day sex romp. “I’m no farmer, but I know a barnyard sound when I hear one,” said one neighbor.
Currently, the alleged penis is little more than a sensitive nodule, but Mr Housewood insists it is foreskin and the beginnings of a healthy and attractive tip. Despite warnings from close friends that he should probably seek confirmation of his “second penis” theory from a qualified professional and not embrace optimism in the face of such an unlikely event, he remains convinced that a shaft will soon follow. “It’s a bit on the smallish side, but I remain hopeful,” he said.