Ten Reasons to Wear A Toboggan On A Warm Day. 

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1. You have a scary bald spot.


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2. Your ears are way too big.


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3.  It hides the tin foil you wrap your head with to keep out the mind control radio waves.


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4. Occasionally, you have an irrepressible urge to grab a big fuzzy ball while in public and it helps you to avoid more jail time.


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5. You can’t  find your cap that you always wear backwards.


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6. Reindeer antlers are out of season.


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7. As it turns out, getting your ex’s name tattooed backwards on your forehead to remind you each time you look in the mirror to learn from past mistakes, wasn’t such a great idea.


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8. You’re sprouting a third ear from the top of your head. Probably the twin you absorbed while in your mother’s womb.


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9. Because despite what your practical joking friends would have you believe, there’s no such thing as a hair product called “foam sealant”.


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10.  You’re Michael Stuhlbarg–Archanan.




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