Brownwood, Tx–Three long time residents of Brownwood hit the recent powerball lottery last week. “We’ve known each other all our lives,” said Cledus Clyde. “We never imagined something this big could happen to us.” The Goggle negotiated an exclusive interview with the lucky trio during which they revealed their plans for the future. Mr Clyde, elected spokesperson for the group, volunteered his Sunset Terrace accommodations which provided a modest but tidy back porch setting for the engagement, featuring a scenic overlook of Loadcraft.
Goggle Bob: What are your plans now? Now that you’re wealthy.
Mr. Clyde: For now, we’ve formed a cooperation to protect our interests.
Goggle Bob: You mean a corporation, right?
Mr Clyde: Nah. A cooperation, stupid. When you’re all together you’re cooperating. Your kinda dumb, ain’t you Bob?
Goggle Bob: Ok, what’s the name of your… cooperation?
Mr Clyde: ClydeCo.
Goggle Bob: ClydeCo? After you. Sounds a bit pretentious. Why did you choose that name?
Mr Clyde: Nah. Not me. After the monkey in my favorite Clint Eastwood movie. Sounds better than CledusCo, after the supporting character in “Smokey and the Bandit”, my second favorite movie. C’mon Bob. Don’t make me be captain obvious here.
Goggle Bob: You mean the orangutan? There’s a big difference, genetically.
Mr Clyde: There weren’t no orangutan in “Smokey and the Bandit”! That was Jerry Reid, dummy. Now who’s being a princess?
Goggle Bob: ??? You mean pretentious?
Mr Clyde: See what I mean?
Goggle Bob: Why did you get to choose the name?
Mr Clyde: I’m the big winner. I got two numbers, and a powerball. Seven bucks, bucko. Sevenamundo! Can a princess do that?
Goggle Bob: What’s first on the agenda for the ClydeCo cooperation?
Mr Clyde: Well, I believe a thirty pack of nattys would be the smart move, but my partners suggest we invest in quality, rather than quantity and purchase a twelve pack of some premium beer. Can you believe that? Shit, that wouldn’t last until 10: am. Just goes to prove how money changes people, I guess. It really clouds their thinking.
Goggle Bob: Any long-term goals? What’s beyond the nattys?
Mr. Clyde: Probably a nap. Maybe a BC powder. Say, you think that pet store on commerce sells orangutans?
Sources report that at approximately 3:00 pm ClydeCo had exhausted its resources and pissed away all investments, resulting in the dissolution of the cooperation.
(No orangutans were harmed during the term of this interview. )