Brownwood, Tx–Newlyweds living in Brownwood Texas announced today, their feelings of insecurity concerning the number of dogs they currently own. In a City where it’s fashionable to have up to a pack of canines this young couple can only boast of having two. When quizzed about their deficit they insisted they would obtain a puppy, or maybe snag a stray by the end of the week. “We just didn’t prepare for this situation before buying a home here. We also weren’t aware that this is such an upscale town.”
Up and down the alleyways, from yards containing as many as four dogs, protests (or what might be defined as canine laughter), could be heard in the form of incessant barking. The two love birds embraced each other and expressed their heartfelt concern. “It’s just so embarrassing.”
In addition to acquiring more furry best friends, the young couple expressed cost concerns regarding canine accessories. More dogs means more chains or rope with which to tether them to almost any stable, immovable object. Also, they will need a dilapidated trampoline, or a rusty gas grill they can toss carelessly somewhere in their yard so that the dogs can become tangled in the metal legs and be allowed to endure freezing rain for up to ten hours a day. “Dog houses will be easy, since most of them we’ve seen are obviously sub-standard. Some tar paper and maybe a sheet of swollen particle board should do just fine.”
When asked what advice they could offer anyone thinking of perhaps moving to Brownwood, they suggested contacting the local animal shelter in regards to the number of pets required in any given neighborhood. “Some neighborhoods require that you provide tableware for the animals to drag around or a few dirty diapers to become entwined in their chains. These are things you just really need to bone up on.”
The recently married couple expressed relief to discover that frequent interaction with the dogs is largely unnecessary and that it is acceptable to just chain them securely in any bare or muddy place in the yard and ignore them on a daily basis. “This makes things easier for us. We’re too busy to actually take care of them and they’re a lot of responsibility. They’re more of a status symbol than anything else. Besides, that would really eat into our online gaming time.”
Anyone wishing to help out and can spare a dog or two can dump them out anywhere within the city limits. Due to financial strains stemming from the purchase of their home the eager couple patrol daily for free dogs, and any help would be appreciated.