Man Falls Victim to Acute Attack of Comfort



Photo By Goggle Bob

Brownwood, Texas— For many shoppers, Black Friday means struggling through a 2:00 am food hangover to become the latest Wal-Mart version of Rhonda Rousey on their way to YouTube stardom. For Harry Dozer, however, the busiest shopping day of the year held something much different in store. With a puzzled, but contented look on his face, Harry tried to describe his recent experience. “I don’t know what came over me. I just…I just laid there. I mean, I think I’d rather have a cactus enema than go Black Friday shopping.”

Despite his best efforts, the only plausible explanation the confused, though relaxed Harry could offer for his odd behavior was an unexpected and all-consuming feeling of comfort. As his wife prepared to battle the early morning crowds, he found himself sinking deeper into the plush, marshmallowy pillow-top of their king-size mattress. Hearing the gentle swoosh of the ceiling fan and feeling the caress of a cool, flowing breeze generated by the dust-laden blades, Harry became powerless to free himself. “I tried to get out of bed, but then a little voice said, ‘Hey, what are you doing stupid? It’s your day off. Enjoy it.’ So I just did.”

Following a brief, brow-scrunching wait Harry’s wife proceeded alone. A few hours later, Harry shuffled to his recliner and settled in for an afternoon of thanksgiving leftovers, television watching, intermittent naps, gas passing, and ball scratching.




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