No Happiness Found Under The Golden Arches

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Brownwood, Tx– Struggling to maintain sanity, a Brownwood Tx. man steered his SUV into the local McDonald’s fast-food restaurant today in an effort to appease his rambunctious three-year old son. The unruly child, while securely strapped into a safety seat in the rear of the SUV, was reportedly kicking, screaming and threatening to hurl a sippy-cup in response to a disciplinary action involving an incident that left him unfulfilled. Upon exiting the drive-thru, the father offered to his son the happy-meal he had procured from the attendant at the window. Following a tranquil moment during a brief examination of what he found to be an obvious bribe, the youth responded with a renewed sense of extreme dissatisfaction. The unanticipated rejection began with an ear-piercing blast from the child’s vocal chords as he ripped into the meal, followed by a sudden and violent disassembly of the cheeseburger therein, which reportedly included an airborne meat-patty event. It then continued with a distribution of delicious fries throughout the rear of the SUV, and ended with an objectionable and deliberate poop in the pants. The father said he calmed the three-year old with a cooling mist of Febreze, and was later able to retrieve most of the fries except for the ones that slipped into the enigmatic region between the seats. At press time the meat patty remained at large.

 

photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/firestone-light/2249101200/”>Peter Zaki</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

 

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