Brownwood residents are warned to be on the look out for an escaped criminal from the Brown County jail. The inmate was first noticed to be missing during the early morning hours of October 31, Halloween day. According to officials at the jail, it is because of this particular holiday that the escape was made possible. “We believe someone smuggled in an invisible man costume,” said sheriff Maybury. At this time it isn’t yet clear just how the invisible man costume was made available.
Local retailers have agreed to remove the remaining invisible man costumes from their inventory and hand them over to local law enforcement so that they may be better able to identify the one in question, but they are having difficulty in locating them. One employee voiced her frustration. “They’re just so darn hard to see. My boss can see them just fine though.”
What makes these mysterious costumes so difficult to identify lies in the fact that only stupid people take them seriously enough to be able to see them. Below are some examples of invisible man costume designs used in recent years. They have been digitally enhanced using Photoshop software to enable them to be viewed by even the stupid-impaired, so if you’re really stupid you may need to wear sunglasses to cut the glare.
Further investigation revealed shocking new evidence that complicates the plot even further. A video camera was found to be in the “off” position. “I just flicked it on this morning and that cell was empty. I thought that to be odd for Brown County, so I assumed that someone had escaped,” said Barney Bigfinger, cavity search specialist.
Since the fugitive is on the run he will probably be searching for an easy meal. Residents are further warned that he may try to trick or treat in an effort to satisfy his hunger. Home owners are encouraged to offer snickers that are packed with peanuts so that he may eat them and become himself once again, therefore making him easier to spot. Any adults seen wearing an invisible man costume, e.g., costume party, haunted house, or some creepy guy who wants free candy, will be considered a suspect, apprehended, and may be subjected to a search by officer Barney.
Pictured below is this years most popular invisible man costume:
There is one other invisible man costume, but no photo is available because nobody’s that stupid…anymore.
photo credit: DVIDSHUB via photopin.com”>photopinccphoto credit: Center for American Progress Action Fund via photopin<a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/”>cc</a>photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/nrbelex/2232632457/”>Nrbelex</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”>cc</a>photo credit: N00/8148346530/”>Jeff_Terrell via photopin cc