Nutty Water

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Brownwood’s Mayor, Little Bigtacks, would like to remind everyone that the city’s  water recycling plant goes online early tomorrow morning. Many residents have voiced a negative opinion regarding this project, however, with the disappearance of Lake Brownwood it’s a dire, and immediate need. “We’re still searching for the culprits that stole our beautiful lake,” said Bigtacks, “and there’s still a thousand dollar crime stopper reward being offered for information leading to its’ whereabouts.”

City engineers would like to asssure residents that the recycled poop waste water squeezing flowing from their taps will be of pristine quality. Although, it may possess a subtle, but pleasant nutty flavor. They would, however, like to point out a few ways that the citizens of Brownwood can do their part to help expedite the processing of the solid waste material:

  • With the upcoming Halloween holiday pressing on us, please refrain from eating any candy labeled as chewy and delicious, chunky, or packed with peanuts.
  • Stay away from high fiber foods.
  • Chew your food thoroughly.
  • If you encounter some poison candy and need to vomit, please do so in your yard.

If we can all follow these simple rules, there should be no change in the quality of our drinking water. “Just in case,” said Mayor Bigtacks, ” we should all use opaque glassware or plastic tumblers to drink from.”

Lastly, after using the toilet, be sure and flush twice…Brownwood needs the water.


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